We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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