your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
