She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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