I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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