singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
