oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
