i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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