When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
