Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
