1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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