you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
