Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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