Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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