I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
