I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
