Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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