He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
