He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
pray to the hookup gods
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
