We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
