If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize