i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
