he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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