He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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