I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
