The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
