you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
