Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
