ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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