if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
