I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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