I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
