How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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