is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize