so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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