3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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