capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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