i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
