You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
