Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
