Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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