That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
