well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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