Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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