Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
