dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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