i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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