you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
