I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
