Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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