thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
