so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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