Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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