Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
