U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
