This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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