So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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