My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
