you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How external is "for external use only"?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize