Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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