Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
