She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
