drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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