she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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