Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
